Achievement vs. relationships: a way to fulfillment
You will hear a lot of people say that it will make you miserable to neglect your personal relationships in favor of pursuit of career goals and achievements. And yes, we are meant to live a balanced life, to the best of our ability.
However, they fail to consider that even when we engage in pursuit of career goals and achievements, the greatest reward comes from self-actualization that happens during that same pursuit. There is so much joy in growth & I dare anyone trying to beat the high of an evolving human spirit.
The human factor isn’t all there is. And yes, when you have to choose between abandoning people versus abandoning yourself, it’s a fairly simple choice. You are meant to connect, but you are not here to cater everyone’s needs. You are not meant to be there for people 24/7, and this will tear you apart if you try, since it’s rarely just one person that requires your attention.
There will be so many people who will require and even demand you to put your self actualization on hold for them, and to abandon your own sense of meaning and purpose for them — while, in full honesty, won’t be willing to do the same for the sake of that same relationship. Or worse, they will be willing, go through with it, and then resent you at the end of the day, because “they gave up so much for you” and because it’s burdening for them to take care of you.
Now, we can say all we want about the way we do work, and we can only hope that most of us will find work of passion, fulfilment and so on.
But, even in the best case scenario and the worst alike, there should be no such pressure on our relationships, that our own fulfillment comes exclusively through our personal relationships, and anyone who would require us to forsake our own creative self expression, to prove our devotion, loyalty or love — will hold us hostage as soon as they tire of the role they so willingly assumed for themselves.
& They will resent us for depending on them, for being clingy and needy and for not being our own person. They will blame and despise us for whatever they wanted us to become.
We may also grow resentful of ourselves and others, if we don’t take care of our purpose. Even if some of those goals seem silly, they are ours. They’re our seeds to water.
Sooo…You’re not working for just money and achievements here. You’re working for something far more precious. Don’t give yourself up. Especially not for those who want to guilt trip you into it.
You have to be very careful in how you administrate your attention, because we only get so much of it, with the time we have.