Business relations: “That first impression”

We’ve been going on and off about how to make business and connect to our ideal clients and our ideal audience. What is the right approach, most efficient approach, and what is the most authentic approach? I believe, that these three go very well together.

Authentic approach is very easy to understand. It’s about being honest no matter what your personal truth is at the moment. Being genuine is not same as building a friendship. Sometimes being genuine means to withhold from personal relationships, unless and until there’s a genuine sense of connection to build upon. This means that selling a product or a service is always more honest than selling a story about how much of good friends you are.

This is efficient — the only and most efficient way to built trust. Being transparent means showing up exactly as you are, mean exactly what you say, giving people an understanding of what they can expect from you and what not to expect from you, makes you both trustworthy and reliable. This is also efficient when it comes to long term benefits, because it’s the best possible way to build your reputation.

In my line of work having that personal connection is important, for some others it may not be as much. But here’s how I feel about it, from perspective of someone who has seen both sides of this spectrum.

Presenting your services isn’t always easy, simply because you never know what type of presentation someone will resonate with, nor you are ever immediately familiar with their needs. If you put out a business offer, no matter how eloquently, chances are you might sound cold, and rub someone the wrong way. To me, it could be equally off putting when someone approaches you in a way that’s too amicable, for someone who you have no intimate connections with. In any case, you and the other person always know exactly what your level of relationship is, and that’s definitely something to consider, even if you might feel like walking on egg-shells most of the time.

My all times favourite, is when people approach me directly and show interest in what I do and how I do it, and what we can accomplish together. Answering their questions helps me understand what exactly they are looking for, and if i have a service to suit their needs. One size fits all — approach is not something that goes well with my line of work. Which is why one-on-one sessions are my jam. However, we all likely understand here that, it’s not always the case that I will be approached.

Oh the other hand, wherever you turn you will be able to hear about those cold messaging and sales tactics, that are very dehumanising in a sense and everyone is annoyed by them, including myself.

Personally, I dislike the idea of invading someone’s space and I can sense when my space is not respected, mental or otherwise.

Let’s get into a bit of discernment here. It’s not really that big of a deal when people show no interest in building a personal relationship with you. As i said, it can be the most honest and least misleading thing to do. There’s nothing wrong with having purely business related intentions only. If i like the offer, or the vibe i get from the person, and if I evaluate that it’s the right thing to do — i will be thrilled to help someone with their business. Including those times I personally don’t need their services or products, I might simply refer them to someone else. Why?

Because there’s nothing wrong with supporting someone’s goals. Even if this person is not anyhow related to you, we all have goals and we all need support. I know I do. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, so I feel like it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. The dynamic between service and demand is simply put, the ability to support each other’s goals, and help each other advance further on this journey called Life.

Let’s assume this conversation is happening between two polite and considerate individuals. I do feel it’s alright to directly and plainly ask and make suggestions to people, and it’s alright for them to refuse, without being sleazy and fake with trying to build connections just for sake of doing business. Then it’s no longer about our personal relationship, but about the relationship between service and demand. I mean, we can’t sell to people what they don’t want and need, right? Given that they are mature adults, fully are aware of their needs and wants.

And this still stands, regardless of how closely you build your relationship with someone. Otherwise we would just be buying things we don’t need, just because…So no, as much as i love you — i am not anyhow obligated to buy your service or product. Unless, i really need it. This tell us, that friendship doesn’t equal entitlement to someone’s resources.

I am not saying it wouldn’t be amazing if we could build quality friendships with all of our associates or clients, but essentially you don’t really want to be intimately involved with everyone you meet…or do you?

With that being said, there’s no shame for wanting to succeed and earn your income. We are all paddling in the same boat one way or another. My willingness to help someone with their goals, comes out of understanding that their needs deserve to be met, just as much as mine. There’s people with families out there. There’s single mothers. We won’t always get to understand or even hear their whole story, but in truth we don’t really have to. Because it’s not supposed to be humiliating to seek work opportunities. We’re not supposed to degrade ourselves with dishonesty, or wasting time on building personal relationships when we don’t really want them.

Certainly it is something to consider, whether we prefer transparency or not. Either way, if you keep in mind that the offer you’re getting is not about you and the other person,nor your personal relationship and likeness with them -but rather about, whether you really need what they’re offering or not, that will help keep the record clean.

Not everything has to be personal, but let’s strive for integrity.