Self worth in relationships: “Gold digging”

Even though it’s hard to grasp the fact that this is still in question, let’s keep the conversation going.

First of all it's not only women who do it.

Secondly, money is not the only way to do it.

And then after that, let's assume we know what we are talking about.

No one is ever being taken advantage of. Not one single person. People give what they chose to give and having it doesn't make them neither bad or good people.

Giving is a manifestation of your ABILITY to give and to create. It doesn't depend on what anyone else wants and for what reasons. People can ask an you are still allowed to refuse. There is no need for projection when you can place clear and sound boundaries as to where your investment goes.

Desire or need - do not make people bad people. This includes women. Women are not wrong for wanting a life of comfort.

But the problem with the label is this. A man who sees a woman no more than as an object of (physical) beauty and (sexual) pleasure and desires her as such - since she is now objectified-is seen as vile for having her own desires for beauty and pleasure that aren't restricted to that man EVEN when that same man uses luxuries to make himself appear more desirable. And once that backfires in a big way, because his intentions and insecurities are mirrored to him - (one he was trying to cover up by accessories and titles) who were supposed to alter his presence or compensate for lack thereof - woman is labeled as easy, gold digging, opportunistic, and god knows what else.

Those who see a woman as an object usually complain when they are treated the same way.

But the real truth is this:

When a man goes to a Lambo stores he doesn't ask for discounts.

Merchandise is worth what it's worth regardless of who can afford it.

Let's break some stereotypes:

Newsflash: People are not "needy" just because you can't meet their needs. Emotionally or otherwise. "Needy" is an equivalent term for "Expensive" that we use as a reference to a higher level investment in emotional energy or attention. In other words its a way to say your creative ability is not matching up to the requirements.

(Disclaimer: I'm not saying that our own creative ability shouldn't be able to meet our own requirements)

"Opportunistic" people are actually smart. They are able to take opportunities as they come. The fact that you can't allow yourself to do the same is your problem. It's also the reason why you're attached to your possessions. You work hard to earn and then hard to keep - instead of giving and receiving with ease and gratitude. Whenever you pass on a good opportunity is because of your low self worth. Receptivity is a healthy feminine quality.

"Expensive" is only relative to your ability to create. A billionaire might consider a 500$ item cheap, while someone with an average (or bellow) income would consider it expensive.

"No" is a perfectly valid answer. If you decide to be generous with someone, be accountable for it. If you're giving a gift on a string attached (made up from your own expectations) you're not really being generous, are you? This means trying to "buy" someone's affection or attention. It's not the same as expressing your genuine admiration and ability to inspire joy. People aren't in debt with you, and most certainly you aren't entitled to their time or attention.

"Rejection" if taken personally only becomes a statement about your bruised Ego and underlying intentions.

Might add few more references here later, but..

A woman is always worthy to a man who truly loves her. Men have abdicated through history for love sake, for sake of putting their woman first. They have started wars and lead many battles for the Queen of their heart.

If she's not worth it to you - let her be. She's not YOUR woman. She doesn't hold a place of significance in your life.

Otherwise you wouldn't mind giving up your trinkets. You would not mind giving up your wounded Ego and set aside your prideful ways. You would go after the world and the universe to lay it at her feet. Because she is not only worthy, she is valuable and because she is such.. You have to also raise up to meet her, unless you're already there. You would do unimaginable and the impossible for Love's sake and for the brief sound of her laughter. Including becoming the best version of yourself.

As you will further understand, the best version of yourself would never disrespect a woman, ANY woman, and even more so the one you truly value and guard with your heart. What you're offering now is unlikely to be love, even if you'd like to be convinced that it is. You can see this in the way you defend yourself against rejection. When we truly love, we protect the ones we love, even from our own unhealthy tendencies.

Anyhow,

A man who truly loves a woman will acknowledge her desires just as much as his own. If you want a fancy sports car, so can she. She doesn't necessarily have to want it from you, sha might even be able to aquire it herself -

The ability to do that for her would be the joy and the reward in itself. And to love a woman truly is to know this for a fact.

I would also like you to see how you've given luxuries higher value than the woman, and even yourself whenever you're making these kind of statements. It doesn't speak highly of you.

So please. Do the inner work, and check yourself and your reasons for getting involved with women before getting butt hurt.

And yes, i am very well aware that this raises a lot of questions. historically and culturally in some other aspects. We can go down the rabbit hole sometime if you like. But for now... Give this a good thought. It maybe worth your while.