To the girl sliding in my fiance's DM’s..
You may not believe it but, I love you.
I understand you, because you are the woman I used to work so hard to heal — within myself. I accept you and receive you in a way only a woman can, and you are a beloved sister of mine.
For this reason, I want to share myself with you.
I understand that you like my man, because I know I do too. And since I think he deserves the World, and that World is so much greater than only myself, I don’t dare cut him off from the rest of it, so that he can be nourished in the way that he deserves to be.
Same applies to us all.
Here’s what I’ve learned on my journey:
Control is not a way to build a quality relationship, only a way to pacify our own insecurities, and that’s sometimes a hard lesson to learn.
I no longer have the need to compete or compare myself to other people, to prove my worth.
I don’t have to convince or manipulate anyone into being affectionate with me, or that I am “the Right One” .
I understand that the happiness of others is essential to my own, and that happiness is more important than building a relationship (by all means, no less.)
Loving relationship can only be founded in absolute truth and free will — so that when I allow others to speak their heart and make their will known — and respect it, I also simultaneously allow myself to be aligned with what is rightfully mine.
I don’t have to “fight” for what’s rightfully mine.
I deserve to be with someone who chooses me back. Letting go can be a greater act of love, than holding onto something that isn’t in alignment.
My Love is not the only Love, I know that.
However, Love is so much different than a relationship, and I share this with you because I also wish someone could have told me the same, when I was still trying to make sense of it all.
As many people as may tell me about the “connection”, I have to hold a reminder that once you feel connected internally with yourself and Divine Source, you feel connected to everything in existence.
It is very sad that that we’ve come to this place collectively, that has to attach “special meaning” to Love that is essentially boundless and the core of our very own existence. It is sad because it shows just how disconnected we were from Love, that it ceased to be the standard.
Love is the most natural thing you can experience. It’s everything, it’s everywhere, it’s who you ARE.
Love is OK and it’s OK for people to Love you (and not want to be in a relationship with you). It’s the way it always should be. Receive Love in as many forms as possible, from any source, always. Don’t make it into this rare, unattainable event.
Get away from disrespect, abuse, from violation of your boundaries and from what ever isn’t in alignment with your highest level of self worth. You are already worthy, Love child.
So here’s a bit of guidance from what I’ve learned about foundation of a quality relationship:
- Best interest at heart, positive treatment — for each other.
This means that you accept and support each other exactly as you are, rather than trying to fit into each other’s needs and expectations. True love is about compromise, not sacrifice. Respect of each others space and boundaries. We don’t need to turn into each other, to be at peace about our relationship.
2. Aligning goals — direction.
Even if you don’t necessarily do same things, what you want for yourselves individually, has to align with the intention of your relationship. You can’t build a life together, when the things you want in life are entirely different, and you’re headed in different directions.
3. Readiness — availability.
Even if the person seems like everything you’ve ever had on your checklist, if they aren’t available to have the relationship with you, let it go. This refers to a partner who is:
a) Not present (right here, right now) — emotionally unavailable, unwilling to commit
b) In relationship with someone else — they can’t be for you what they already are for someone else.
4. (Positive) Investment.
People who don’t work on their own well-being, and isn’t self investing into building a firm foundation within themselves and their own reality. Person who is doing the bare minimum to help you build the relationship. People who don’t support you as much as you support them.
Make sure you have all these in check, before you start to invest yourself and your energy into someone else’s space. Clear out your intentions and allow others to make their intentions clearly known to you. You both deserve the Truth. If you aren’t clear about the Truth, one of you is usually lying to themselves.
People get into relationships for so many different reasons, that aren’t always Love. Be grateful for those who politely decline, when feeling out of alignment with your intention. That is also a way to Love and Honour you, by giving you the Gift of Truth. We all know how painful it can be, being kept on a hanger in someone’s closet. This is an act of Love, when they see your worth, as to not take advantage, and make no promise they can’t keep. Allow people to be Honest and Decent with you. You deserve that.
As much as flirting can be fun and easy in the beginning, stumbling upon your own expectations eventually has got to hurt. The two things that can happen in these situations is that you put in so much effort to keep someone who doesn’t want to be kept and on the flip side, even if you do make it happen you’ll end up getting what is so much less than you deserve.
You maybe the best you could ever be, and yet, no one will “notice you” before you start noticing yourself.
