What are we flirting ourselves into?

Flirting has long lost both, its innocence, and casualty.

Unlike friendliness and affection in which there’s a certain level of boundaries, just the idea of deliberate action and pursuit — implies the need of dissolution of boundaries, through pleasurable and playful exchange.

Intentions however, lurk in the background, along with unmet needs for affection, quite often, followed by subconscious expectations that are unacknowledged, and even when they are — rarely communicated clearly.

Lack of clarity in communication, in which we try to “keep it casual”, in order to create the appearance of aloofness — opposed to neediness and desperation, is simply preventing us from communicating our personal standards.

All this leading to a point of disappointment and resentment, when our needs aren’t being met, whether through unawareness of the person we’re getting involved with, either due to the fact that we end up settling for what is not up to our truest nor highest standard.

What is our highest standard?

Simply put, our highest standard is what we want, when we stop denying or masking our true needs to make everyone else comfortable, and we are often eager to close our eyes extra tight — to an out of alignment relationship, if we are to go against our highest levels of self worth.

…and Yes. Communicating your standards clearly, will only repel what isn’t really worth keeping.

This would mean having the awareness of how settling for less that we truly deserve, can only result in manifesting what we don’t want. Our intuition is always on point, our body revolts, we are resistant rather than yielding or putting in more effort into relationship maintenance, from our prospect partner. This is to say, we either convince ourselves about the nature of our feelings, either drag another by the sleeve into the relationship space.

Manifesting what you don’t want, is only a byproduct of suppressing or lying ourselves about our true desires. Other times, it’s about not being sure about what and why we deserve more. The effort we put into the malfunctioning relationship comes out of the need to deserve, and by that i mean justify the Love we receive.

Standing firmly in your Truth works like a charm, when it comes to attracting honest relationships. This is the only way in which you can be fully received and welcomed, without ever having to disown any aspect of yourself, a way in which you can breathe freely, all that sweet, sweet air of Freedom.

There is no such thing as “Friendly Flirtation”, because Flirtation is always intentional, even when intentions aren’t fully clear. But, on another note, valuing a relationship would really make you want to hold that relationship to a high standard as well. Quality friendship is always better than an average relationship.

Apart from that, without clear and positive common intentions, something that can appear so innocent can become a disaster to both Friendship and prospect Romantic partnership. Flirting with someone who you aren’t able to build a relationship with (for whatever reasons), creates an “in-between” space, as if you’re trying to be in two places at once, but you’re neither here nor there.

If it‘s the case, that the person of your interest is a Friend, who happens to be in a committed relationship with someone else, trying to bypass their boundaries would not only be a sign of disrespect towards them and their choices, as much as yourself — but also, a potential for a gigantic emotional mess. Well…just like in pretty much every other case, where your feelings aren’t reciprocated.

This doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel your feelings, in whichever form they arise. Simply acknowledge them, don’t make them about another person, and understand that there’s no debt in Love. Chances are, if you would only pay closer attention to your feelings and motivations, you would most probably realise that they aren’t truly your ideal partner. Your ideal partner is not someone you need to make sure they know that, they want you, because they already know.

So,

Unless you’re moving in the same direction with someone, it’s healthier for both to either move separate ways, either be very firm about your boundaries. Ask yourself this : ”If I am not given what I deserve, what is the actual purpose of making an investment into building a relationship in the first place?”