Let me tell you something that perhaps not many people know and that maybe relevant to these times.
One of things I’ve learned in my healing work is that for me to be able to do this kind of work, I also have to allow myself to be extremely vulnerable.
Caring for people will hurt you in the most unexpected ways. Always does.
But that’s just what it takes to make a connection.
It won’t matter in what way you care about someone, if it’s a partner, a child, a family member or a soul friend.
And so you will see in my reviews that many people who came into session with me, wrote how they’ve felt immediately connected to me — which is this exact reason.
There’s ZERO difference in how I treat people in session and everyone else I’ve just mentioned above. ZERO difference. Because it’s just another expression of that same love.
Love heals. Connection heals.
Now I don’t know if i am addressing this to people who seek healing or are seeking to serve others. Possibly all.
Being involved in an act of love, such as healing will take for us to let our guard down, let our walls crumble, let our thick skin dissolve in the loving space we enter together.
Sadly, as a collective this is not our immediate association for love. We are taught that love hurts and that it leads to disappointment.
And we interpret that as any form of abusive behavior mistaken for love, or if not, our failed expectations to say the least, because we not only want to be loved, but also experience it in a way we can understand.
We rarely interpret it as a quality of love that is so compassionate and empathetic that is purifying us from ourselves — our agenda, our selfish ways — by enabling us to hold space for someone in less than perfect condition and situations. You can think of it as growing pains, all the while love is making space, and the pain is caused by holding on too tightly onto our defense mechanisms and accustomed ways of being.
Not to mention, that it will take walking down that road of struggle alongside them, because to connect means to co-experience.
It will also hurt being rejected by the very people you’re trying to love and that people can’t see how much you truly care about them.
Even if you know that their distrust comes from a place of deep pain, that it’s got nothing to do with your actions or intentions — and that will hurt you even more, because you will be deeply affected by their struggle knowing that it’s not your call whether you may help them or not — even if you want to and know exactly how to.
Eventually that same love will end up healing you — with acceptance.
Love is who we are, but healing is a conscious choice, and sometimes an agreement.
We don’t see love as something we don’t want it to be.
And sometimes that’s where we start to disconnect.
Vulnerability is to allow our walls to crumble, and those walls are the great show we play on being all powerful, strong, perfect, never needing anything or anyone.
Our perfectionism and pride are burdening with self expectations. The irony is that, we are never going to be that ideal Self, that our needs are not being met, and that we altogether miss out on a great deal of awesome and fun time.
The fact that you don’t know how to be vulnerable, doesn’t mean you don’t need anyone. Don’t confuse the two.